Sunday, March 14, 2010

Signs That Your Horse Show Is Rained Out

  • Fiona’s British Thoroughbred says, ‘"I swam the English Channel and, by jove, I can jump this course, too!’"
  • Marsha checked and she’s getting credits for her Marine Biology Course just for being here this weekend.
  • Suddenly the bookies are giving great odds on the entries named Swim Jim, Fin, and Australian Crawl.
  • There’s an enormous trout in Phil’s horse’s stall and it’s saying, ‘"How does it feel when I invade YOUR space????’"
  • Your friend who rides pure dressage has stopped teasing you about 'all that crazy jumping’ and is now razzing you about not riding for at least half an hour after meals.
  • Apparently, ponies float like corks. Draft-crosses do not.
  • Jill had to scratch because her Arabian ran away from home. He left a note: ‘"Found mildew in my ears. Can’t take it any more. Going home to the desert. Please understand that it’s me, not you.’"
  • As your coach discusses the stadium course with you, he stops saying things like, ‘"the Oxer going away from the in-gate’" and starts using directions such as ‘"upstream’" and ‘"downstream.’"
  • The Best Conditioned Horse Award went to the horse who could hold his breath underwater the longest.
  • The wash rack with the backed up drain is now the driest spot on the grounds.

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