Horseaholics Anonymous

I would like to welcome all of you to this month's online meeting of Horse-Aholics Anonymous.
  You may be sitting there thinking that you are OK, and don't really need any help. It is not easy to realize that you are a horse-aholic, and even harder to bring yourself to a HA meeting for help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask to try to determine if you can be helped.

• Can you say 'sheath' in public without blushing?
• Do you know exactly what 'snaffle' means? (No, it is not a drink!)
• Do you drive a truck with some type of towing package and/or dual rear wheel when everyone else you know drives a real car?
• Do you have more than one type of trailer because you own horses?
• Do you spend your holidays going to shows, sales, clinics, and seminars when everyone else goes on cruises?
• Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make a doctor leave in disgust?
• Do you consider formal wear clean jeans and freshly scraped boots?
• Does the inside of your home look like your interior decorator is 'State Line Tack'?
• Do you often have barn boots on your front porch?
• Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazines and horse catalogs?
• Do your shirt pockets often contain bits of feed, hay, and empty syringe covers?
• Do you worry about paying your monthly feed bill before you think of paying your electric bill?
• When you meet a person, do you ask how many horses they have, and pity them if the answer is none?
• Do you remember the name of a great-great-great grand sire when you can't remember your own Great grandfather's name?
• Is your primary dream in life to breed the perfect foal?
• Do you find non-horse people boring?
• Is 99% of your e-mail about horses?
• Do you have a collection of bits even larger than your collection of horses?
• Does you halter collection include more than four foal halters, all the same size?
• Do you know more than five people this list fits exactly?

If you answered YES to three of these questions, you are in pretty good shape. You will lead a long, dull life, and never call your mother and tell her "I'm in the hospital, but everything is fine! The horse is OK."

If you answered YES to 10, you are in serious trouble. Give in gracefully, and become a member of Horse-Aholics Anonymous now... You will qualify eventually anyway.

If you answered YES to 15 or more, you are incurable.
My advice to those who, like me, are incurable is as follows.....
Sit back, smile, read your email, and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and better horses, and it will never be dull.

You know you are a horseperson when:

-You cluck to your car when you go up a hill.  (guilty)

-Your horse's hair is in better condition than your own.

-You refer to your car as "my portable tack room".

-You are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the bridle shop, then you are dissapointed when you realize they mean the bridal shop.

-You have the vet's number but not your kid's pediatrician on your speed dial.

-Your spouse can track dirt into the house all they want, but God help them if they muddy up the tack room.

-Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.

-Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair all over them.

-You have to go to your friend's wedding in riding clothes because you took too long at the barn.

-Only horsepeople would spend hundreds of dollors on a show for a 95 cent ribben (also guilty)

Horse Hair: Potentially Dangerous!

In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses.This substance, called "amo-bacter equuii" has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:


Reluctance to cook

Reluctance to perform housework

Reluctance to wear anything but boots

Reluctance to work except in support of a horse



Physical craving for contact with horses (may be an addiction)



Beware: If you come in contact with a female human affected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours on end.



This has been a public service announcement.


HL in: not that I would want to do housework, cooking or working even if I didnt have a horse! But I do wear my Ariats EVERYWHERE,  all the time!