Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Monday, June 21, 2010

The geldings

I got this picture by sheer luck, its all the geldings in the back pasture. It so needed a caption!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Countryside breakdown

A city man was tooling down a country road when his car
sputtered to a complete stop near a pasture full of horses.
The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed
one of the horses looking at him.

"I believe it's your radiator," said the horse.

The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches!
He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A horse
just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms
franticaly back toward the field.

The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to
glance down the field. "The one with all the spots on it?" the
farmer asked slowly.

"Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied.

"Oh. Well, that's Elmer," the farmer said, turning back to the man.
"Don't pay any attention to him. He doesn't know a thing about cars."

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Creation of Man

God created the mule, and told him, 'You will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.'


The mule answered: 'To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20.' And it was so. 

Then God created the dog, and told him, 'You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.' 

And the dog responded, 'Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years.' And it was so. 

God then created the monkey, and told him, 'You are Monkey you shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years.' 

And the monkey responded, 'Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.' And it was so. 

Finally, God created Man and told him, 'You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years. 

And the man responded, 'Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the ten years the monkey rejected.' And it was so. 

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then,in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren."

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A nun and her donkey

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race. But then she realized that they cost way too much, so instead, she bought a donkey.
The next day, she enters it into a contest and it comes in third.
The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.''
The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first.
The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.''
The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race.
The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price.
The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''


(variation of Pastor's Ass :))

Monday, June 14, 2010

What do you call a donkey....

What do you call a donkey with one leg? A wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye? A winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love? A bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind? A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes? A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano? A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a truck? Bloody talented!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Busy busy

Horse show weekend, I will get back to posting once I recover :)

in the meantime, a goofy awesome pic from between classes :)