Thursday, December 31, 2009

Dressage/Reining showdown at the OK...arena

I just love this, I have gone back and watched it several times since I added it to my favs. The coolest part is when they switch mounts.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Horse Hair: Potentially Dangerous!

In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses.This substance, called "amo-bacter equuii" has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:

Reluctance to cook

Reluctance to perform housework

Reluctance to wear anything but boots

Reluctance to work except in support of a horse

Physical craving for contact with horses (may be an addiction)

Beware: If you come in contact with a female human affected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours on end.

This has been a public service announcement.

HL in: not that I would want to do housework, cooking or working even if I didnt have a horse! But I do wear my Ariats EVERYWHERE,  all the time!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Horses and their dogs

courtesy of loldogs...


funny pictures of dogs with captions

funny pictures of dogs with captions

Monday, December 28, 2009

Fun bridleless dressage

Not humor but fun and amazing video I came across and had to post....

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A champion jockey on a new horse

 A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?"

The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!"

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Horses and snow

For all the snow you have or are about to get nailed with, heres a cute video of horses thoroughly enjoying it, even tho we dont!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sheath cleaning song

This is a classic! Kinda glad I dont have a gelding anymore tho.

Sing it to the tune of "Hello Mother, Hello Father" from camp song

The Sheath Cleaning Song

How's it hangin'?

So much cleaner.

Aren't you glad I

washed your wiener?

I'll admit it's

kinda creepy

that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.

It was sticky.

It was gunky.

It felt icky.

It smelled funky.

It was cruddy,

it was crusty--

when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.

After half an

hour of toilin'

and of squirtin'

baby oil in,

you're as fresh there

as a daisy.

Either this means I love you or else I'm crazy!!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009



I can save you money on gas!

Alright folks, step right up! You don't want to pay $4.69 for gas, no problem, I have the perfect vehicle for you. Needs no gas, no oil, or even a battery, just a little grass and water will do these animals fine. Now everyone has different needs, so choose from the following models:

1. Trail Horse - Your average run around town animal. Has the energy to get where you are going, the brain to find the best way to go, big enough to carry the normal sized American.

2. The Arabian - perfect for those who travel long distances in a day and try to multi task while driving. Although the Arabian may not go to your home or office with out specific instruction, it WILL go somewhere.

3. The Draft - Calling all soccer moms. This big guy can carry the whole team, their gear and snacks. Just like the big machines, this guy will require more fuel, and his shoes will be more expensive than the compact model.

4. The Western Pleasure - The right car for the high end white collar workers. This animal works harder and requires more special knowledge so only the best can figure this out. Be sure to take your cell phone. You won't be stuck in traffic, you just won't be getting anywhere fast.

5. The Parelli - Salesmen, stay at home moms, and high school kids will all enjoy this dream. You can load him down with flapping Wal-mart bags, ask him to walk in places a horse won't fit, and you can dance with him as you listen to the latest tunes.

6. The Ranch - The most dependable animal available. He will go where ever you ask him to, at whatever speed is appropriate. You can tie him to the stop sign and he will be there when you get back. Best of all, this model has been specially engineered to be able to go without water for days and stay fat and slick by eating sagebrush and dead prairie grass.

Of course all models are available in base colors (sorrel, bay, black) Special order colors are available (dun, gray, palomino) and for an additional fee, custom paint jobs are also available (overo, tobiano, blanket, leopard).

No horse is sold with a warranty, however maintenance plans are available in the event brakes, steering, or accelerator fail.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

What not to say to a Farrier

If you will just give each of the dogs a piece of hoof they will get
out from under the horse and quit fighting.

As much as you charge, I should get to use that truck too.

If you get that done in 30 minutes, you'll be making $160. per hour.

That's not the way they did it on that horseshoeing show.

I see who makes all the money in horses - farriers!

My last farrier couldn't finish - they gave me your name and number.

You don't mind if I feed the other horses, do you?

Are you sure you have them on the correct foot?

If he didn't kick like that, I'd trim him myself.

Would you mind trimming my new BLM mustang?

Can we shoe him in the arena? If he rears in the barn, he hits his head.

You sure earned your money on that one!

I forgot you were coming; I just turned all the horses out.

Can you make it after six, or on Sunday, I have to work.

I just cannot believe that he bit you.

I read all about the Natural Way to trim on the internet, and you're supposed to...

Did that hurt?

I know that he is difficult to shoe, but he is so good on the trails.

It doesn't look like he's leaning from here.

Good morning - glad you're here - can we reschedule? I have a lot going on today.

It's so cool that he can balance on just two feet.

Can you shoe him so that he doesn't paw?

Don't tell my husband that I used the grocery money.

Most times when he kicks, he misses!

Just do the hinds - I'll do the fronts.

I left the checkbook in the car, and my wife/husband just left - can you bill me?

I'm sure glad you don't mind working on muddy feet.

Does it mean my horses have some sort of deficiency when they chew

the paint off your truck like that?

This horse does forge, also interferes, and sometimes hits his knees....

we need to keep the price down on this bill.

I got a bargain on these shoes at a rummage sale, could you use them instead and save me some money?

Oops! Wrong horse.

I know I said just a trim, but can we shoe 'em as well?

My weanling colt needs a trim, and I figured you could halter break him at the same time.

I've got a new horse whose feet are in pretty bad shape. The

previous owners said their farrier wouldn't work on him.

I know it's been a long day for you; that's why I saved the worst one for last.

If my other farrier's ribs weren't broken, he'd be able to get shoes on this horse.

It's a good thing you're slow today, or he'd have had shoes on when he kicked your truck.

My grandpa used to shoe horses like you, only he used a sledge and a corn knife.

I don't understand why the shoes didn't stay on. I just had them done 12weeks ago.

Friday, December 18, 2009

If horses could talk

Fellow boarder made this a few years ago and allowed me to feature here....

Thursday, December 17, 2009

ADORABLE Fjord playing with ball

Fjords are so cyute already but watching this guy have a ball (he he) made me smile!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Call for submissions

Any one out there have a great horse joke/funny story/picture, whatever! Click on my profile and email it to me!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Funny horse race names

another youtube classic, bad language warning...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Singing horses funny

Click on each horse. Make sure your sound is on. Re-click on any horse to make it turn off or turn it back on again. Try clicking on the horses from left to right then right to left then just one or two at a time... It's fun and a good stress reliever. Have fun!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Special kind of horse

A city dweller came to a farm and saw a beautiful horse. He decided he had to have the animal. He bargained with the farmer and the farmer finially sold him the horse. The city man jumped on the horse and said, "Giddyup!" The horse didn't budge. The farmer explained, "This is a special kind of horse. He'll only move if you say, 'Praise the Lord.' To stop him, you have to say, 'Amen.'" Keeping this in mind, the new owner yelled, "Praise the Lord!" whereupon the horse took off with great speed. Soon horse and rider were headed for a cliff. Just in time the rider remembered to say "Amen!" The horse came to a screeching halt right at the edge of the cliff. Relieved, the rider raised his eyes to heaven and exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!"

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Horse dictionary

A BIT - What you have left in your wallet after you've been to your favorite tack shop.

COLIC - Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse show food stands

EASY RIDER - Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with "ride-able"

EASY TO CATCH - In a 10 x 10 stall

EASY TO LOAD - Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50lb bag of oats, and a tractor with a front-end loader.

FEED - Expensive substance used to manufacture manure.

FENCE - Decorative structure built to provide your horse with hours of chewing pleasure.

GALLOP - Customary gait a horse uses when returning to the barn.

HIVES - What you get when you receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3 dogs and 4 cats.

HOBBLE - Gait of a horse owner after being stepped on by their horse

HOCK - Financial condition of all horse owners

JUMP - What your horse refuses to do in the show ring, but readily does at the pasture fence.

LIGHT CRIBBER - We can't afford to build any more fencing or box stalls for this buzzsaw on four legs

LIGHT MOUTH - Haven't actually gotten a bit in his mouth yet.

LUNGING - Popular training method whereby the horse exercises his owner by spinning him in circles until dizzy.

NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER - Race jockeys or rodeo cowboys would be ideal candidates

NICELY STARTED - Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him.

PINTO - Green coat pattern found on freshly washed light colored horse left unattended for 2 minutes.

RASP - Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from one's knuckles

SPIRITED - If you're not careful, he'll put you in the spirit world.

STARTED UNDER SADDLE - No one's actually been fool enough to sit in the saddle yet, but...

SURE FOOTED - Every kick he's aimed has found its target

WILLING ATTITUDE - After one ride, you'll think about drawing up your will

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

So cute, and well done!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Monday morning deep thoughts

"If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle."
Rita Mae Brown

"I never play horseshoes 'cause Mother taught us not to throw our clothes around."
Mr. Ed (The "Talking Horse" of the 1960's TV Series)

"I ride horses because it's the only sport where I can exercise while sitting down."
Joan Hansen

"Riding: The art of keeping a horse between you and the ground."

"Look, Mommy,he's wearing bell-bottoms!"
A small child's reaction to seeing a Clydesdale's fetlock "feathers"

"People on horses look better than they are. People in cars look worse than they are."
Marya Manners

"Want to end up with a million bucks in the horse business? Start out with 5 million."

"How do you catch a loose horse? Make a noise like a carrot."
British Cavalry Joke

"You can lead a horse to water, but if you can teach him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something."
Joe E. Lewis

""I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted."

"Horses do think. Not very deeply, perhaps, but enough to get you into a lot of trouble."
Patricia Jacobson & Marcia Hayes, A Horse Around the House

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Free Credit report commercials spoof

Colic is no laughing matter, but these are pretty good...until the last one anyway.

Letter from your horse

When you are tense, let me teach you to relax.
When you are short tempered, let me teach you to be patient.
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to see.
When you are angry, let me teach you to be serene.
When you feel superior, let me teach you to be respectful.
When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to think of greater things.
When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion.
When you are tired, let me carry the load.
When you need to learn, let me teach you.

And now, the REAL DEAL.....
When you are tense, let me teach you that there are lions in them thar woods and we need to leave NOW!
When you are short tempered, let me teach you to slog around the pasture for an hour before you can catch me.
When you are short sighted, let me teach you to figure out where, exactly, in the 40 acres am hiding.
When you are quick to react, let me teach you that herbivores kick much faster & harder than omnivores.
When you are angry, let me teach you how well I can stand on my hind feet because I don't feel like cantering on my right lead today.
When you are worried, let me entertain you with my mystery lameness.
When you feel superior, let me teach you that mostly, you are the maid service.
When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember? I told you about those lions in them thar woods?
When you are arrogant, let me teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS GO!" can do when suitably inspired.
When you are lonely, let me be your companion. Let's do lunch. Also, breakfast, snack and dinner.
When you are tired, don't forget the 600lbs.of grain that need to be unloaded?
When you are feeling financially secure,let me teach you the meaning of "Veterinary Services".
When you want to learn, hang around, bud. I'll learn ya.

Your Horse

Friday, December 4, 2009

More Instructions

How do you . . .
- To induce labor in a mare? Take a nap.
- To cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer.
- To cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class.
- To get a horse to stay very calm and laid back? Enter them in a liberty class.
- To get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
- To get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.
- To get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.
- To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted? Sell her before she foals.
- To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch?
Get him out late at night or anytime no one is around to see him.
- To induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse.
- To make it rain? Mow a field of hay.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A short trail riding story.

On a recent trail ride there were 2 incidents that made me laugh. First we were riding along on the horse path and a couple with a young girl on the walking path stopped to admire the horses, which already makes one smile. Then as we were just past them the little girl says "hey why arent you 2 wearing helmets!", and yes 2 out of 3 of us were not. It was so cute, I couldnt help but laugh.

Then back at the trailer parking lot after the ride, 2 vehicles full of teenage boys kept racing in and out and driving irratically. It was a quiet colder day so they figured the park would be empty I bet. We had seen the park police twice already that day, but where were they now! Well as we were leaving, the cop had one of the vehicles caught as he sped out the in road and was getting his license. It totally made my day. I just wish the other car would have still been around too.