Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Horse dictionary

A BIT - What you have left in your wallet after you've been to your favorite tack shop.

COLIC - Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse show food stands

EASY RIDER - Rides good in a trailer; not to be confused with "ride-able"

EASY TO CATCH - In a 10 x 10 stall

EASY TO LOAD - Only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50lb bag of oats, and a tractor with a front-end loader.

FEED - Expensive substance used to manufacture manure.

FENCE - Decorative structure built to provide your horse with hours of chewing pleasure.

GALLOP - Customary gait a horse uses when returning to the barn.

HIVES - What you get when you receive the vet bill for your 6 horses, 3 dogs and 4 cats.

HOBBLE - Gait of a horse owner after being stepped on by their horse

HOCK - Financial condition of all horse owners

JUMP - What your horse refuses to do in the show ring, but readily does at the pasture fence.

LIGHT CRIBBER - We can't afford to build any more fencing or box stalls for this buzzsaw on four legs

LIGHT MOUTH - Haven't actually gotten a bit in his mouth yet.

LUNGING - Popular training method whereby the horse exercises his owner by spinning him in circles until dizzy.

NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER - Race jockeys or rodeo cowboys would be ideal candidates

NICELY STARTED - Lunges, but not enough health insurance to even think about riding him.

PINTO - Green coat pattern found on freshly washed light colored horse left unattended for 2 minutes.

RASP - Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from one's knuckles

SPIRITED - If you're not careful, he'll put you in the spirit world.

STARTED UNDER SADDLE - No one's actually been fool enough to sit in the saddle yet, but...

SURE FOOTED - Every kick he's aimed has found its target

WILLING ATTITUDE - After one ride, you'll think about drawing up your will

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