An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him. Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."
“Ah sure,” says Paddy, “the veterinarian came out this week and said we had to put him down.”
“That’s a shame,” said Mick, “and did he shoot him straight away?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “First he said we should dig a great big hole for the horse. It was then he got out the gun.”
“And did he shoot him in the hole?” asked Mick.
“No, no - he shot him in the head,” says Paddy.
A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says: "Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."