Train your horse to help fight the zombie apocalypse

not a wimp, well loved

needle in a haystack

Whos hauling who around now eh!

Push button horse

Knock down ALL the things

Do the Limbo!

Thor

The God of War rode out one day

Upon his favorite filly

"I'm Thor!" he cried

The horse replied

"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"

the perfect solution

outta my way!

I can relate!

Thankfully fly season is pretty much over here

A horse's view of the world

Advice from the peanut gallery

Fancy prancing illustrated

More on spooking

If english horses could talk

If dressage horses could talk!

The other miracle of birth

Olympic performances!

Sequel to "and the plastic bag flapped"

Showcation...

Hold yer horses!

Isnt that always how a horse bath works?

So thats the trick!

I may have had an issue with a plastic bag once

Colbert's dressage lesson

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen's Dressage Training Pt. 2
www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

Video Archive

way to ride out the spook! so Passage = horsie walking sideways and Piaffe = fancy prancing now I get it! Check out part one as well.

Steeplechase commercial

Honor thy Farrier

Rider Excuses

A ride on Turbulence

You Might Be a Redneck Horse Owner if…

You have ever purchased a goat instead of a weed eater.



Neighbor kids dare each other to pet your horses through the fence.



You have 6 horses and one useable halter.



People like to guess what breeds your horse is.



Your tool kit consists of duct tape, WD-40 and baling twine.



You can think of more than 10 uses for empty feed bags.



You wonder if the horse hair in the dryer lint trap is a saleable commodity.



Your horse blankets have been repaired with duct tape. A lot of duct tape.



Your stable colors are dictated by what was on sale at the time of purchase.



You have ever considered, "Pay the hay man or the mortgage?" and decided on the hay man.



You buy top notch horse feed but keep an eye out for sales on Ramen noodles to feed your kids.



Your truck and trailer sport matching coats of primer.



Your all time favorite Christmas gift was a wire stretcher.



The most romantic gift you have ever received was an arena drag.



Spiders are the centerpiece of your “all natural” fly control program.



Mud prevents anyone from guessing what color your horses are.



Any of your bridles are held together with baling wire.



Who needs a bridle when you have a perfectly good halter and lead rope?



All of your exterminators have four legs.



You can’t remember the last time you rode in a saddle.



The string cinch you use every day has six or fewer intact strings.



Your horse won the “Hairiest” award at the local fuzzy/furry schooling show.



No visit to a horse show from your barn is complete without a “Loose Horse!!” announcement over the PA system.



Your pasture fence is held together with baling twine.



You have ever pulled a horse trailer with an El Camino.



You haven’t quite gotten around to breaking that six-year-old home raised colt.



At your barn, a dead rat is cause for celebration.



Your neighbors call frequently with the message, “Your horses are out again!”



There is at least one rusted out vehicle in your pasture.



It takes two hands to open all of your gates – one hand to pick the gate up out of the mud, and the other hand to work the latch.



Cleaning out your trailer’s dressing room requires a manure fork.



The county declares your pasture to be a public nuisance.



None of your stall doors have fully functional latches.



Your son is your automatic waterer.



Taking just one horse out of your pasture is absolutely impossible.



You have never noticed a need for manure removal.



You worm your horses once a year whether they need it or not.



You think vaccinations are for pessimists.



You consider it a waste of money to have the vet geld your colts when you can do it yourself.



You have ever loaded a pony into the back of your truck.



On your property, pasture rotation happens only when the horses tear down the fence to get at the grass in an adjoining pasture.

This is why I have a mare...

When is he too supple?

Air Amateur

Diggin for gold and jumping for joy

Just look how much fun he is having!

http://bcove.me/vlukug47

New breed brands ?

Equine Dating Scene

Project Unicorn

Horse riding in place?

Back to the basics

If only we could keep them in the city!

School horse types

Hip horse?

Thanks to a viewer for this one, I love it!

Horse vs Monkey

HPad?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00pvyb0

The Dressage Test

Extra Gaits of the Horse (probably works for mules also)

 --The Boink

 One-beat gait with suspension, often exhibited by horses ridden into a

field of white-tailed deer.


 --The Lateral Swoop

 A sudden sideways leap with shoulder horizontal to the ground, leaving

 the rider hovering briefly over where the saddle used to be before

 descending to the ground. Can be precipitated by a tractor starting up

 outside the arena, snow sliding off the arena roof, a large rock that

magically turns into a bear or a green plastic garbage bag.


 --The Whirling Dervish

 Advanced version of the Lateral Swoop in which the horse spins like a

 top, frequently launching the hapless rider a long distance by

 centrifugal force. Specialty of certain Arabians, often caused by

 viewing a 4-wheeler approaching on the trail ahead.


 --The Yahooey

 One of the natural Airs Above the Ground, a highly suspended movement

 exhibited when turned out or during the first canter in an open field.

 A variation is the Jet-Assisted Buck & Fart, in which the horse

 achieves maximum height and momentum aided by the loud expulsion of

 exhaust gas. Occurs on cold, windy days when the wind goes up the

 horse's tail and blows his brains out his ears.


 --The Omigod

 Sudden backwards movement accompanied by loud, rolling snorts, ears

 stiffly forward and eyes bugging out, exhibited by a horse that has

 spotted a monster (invisible to the human eye) advancing on him from

 the front. Can be precipitated in visible form by riding up to a large

 blue tarp, which the wind then moves slightly.


--The Hot Wheels

Speed gait in which all four legs rotate at high speed, often leaving

 rubber strips on the ground. Frequently exhibited by runaway ponies,

 rushing jumpers and horses returning to the barn.


 --The Shark Circling the Rowboat

 Characteristic movement of lesson horse in ever-decreasing concentric

 circles around the instructor, until the horse is in the center

 standing on the instructor's left foot and further progress is

 impossible. (Old school horses tell new school horses how to do this.)


--The Sloth

 Typical gait of school horse who has perfected the art of laziness. No

 perceptible forward movement, in spite of encouraging kicks, clucks,

 flapping reins, ineffective crop swats, shouts and jumping up and

 down. (Note: the Sloth can be transformed into Hot Wheels by the sight

 of the instructor advancing with lunge whip in hand.)


--The Flapper

Movement in which the horse shakes like a wet dog, totally terrifying

 the beginner rider. Horse then grins an evil grin and eats grass.



 --The Wallow

 Rotational movement performed on the ground, especially in mud, sand

or water. Always performed when the instructor is at the other end of

 the trail ride or not looking.


--Followed by the Upsie Daisy

 Which always occurs before the arrival of the instructor. Horse

 perfects the Wallow by rolling in mud, sand or water, usually defiling

 the purity of the perfectly clean saddle regardless of screams.



--The Snail Rocket

 The two walking gaits of experienced trail horses on the trail. Going

 out, the walk is so snail-like, time perceptibly slows. Coming back,

 trotting horses can barely keep up with the rocket walk. Essentially,

 horses perfectly understand physical law; the speed of the walk is

 directly proportional to the direction on the trail.



 --The Bobber

 Gait which old experienced trail horses proceed with child or beginner

 on back. Walk a few feet, stop, horse pulls reins through hands of

 beginning rider and eats grass. Repeat 50 times.