From the (race) horse's mouth

A horse walked up to the racetrack betting window and put down 50 bucks. "I want to bet on myself to win the fifth race," said the horse. "I don't believe it!" said the astonished clerk. "You don't believe what?", said the horse, "That I can talk?" "No", replied the clerk, "You don't stand a chance of winning the fifth race.

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A young boy told his mother that his father had taken him to the zoo. The mother couldn't believe it.
She said, "Your father has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life."
The boy said, "He did, and one of the animals paid fifty dollars!"

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A man was walking down the road leading a horse and saw his mate. His mate said to him "What are you going to do with that?"
The 1st man replied "Race it".
The 2nd man then said "Well by the looks of it you will win!".