TOP TEN REASONS TO RIDE DRESSAGE

10 found ice-fishing too stimulating.

9 I enjoy wearing full formal wear rain or shine

8 Who wouldn't love spending afternoons riding in circles getting yelled at

7 Just love subjecting friends and family to my latest equine video spectacular

6 My Chiropractor needs a new car

5 Wanted to find a place my husband wouldn't go - the barn

4 Got tired of spending cold winters by the fire and hot summers by the pool

3 My lawyer wanted me to have three judges

2 Lived for the sport where I could say "Piaffe" to the judges

1 I had way to much money in my bank account!

Jockey tricks

There was a famous jockey that never lost a race.When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.

Head colds suck!

sort of back in business....sort of

Q: How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?


A: Start with a large fortune.

You know you are a horseperson when:

-You cluck to your car when you go up a hill.  (guilty)

-Your horse's hair is in better condition than your own.

-You refer to your car as "my portable tack room".

-You are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the bridle shop, then you are dissapointed when you realize they mean the bridal shop.

-You have the vet's number but not your kid's pediatrician on your speed dial.

-Your spouse can track dirt into the house all they want, but God help them if they muddy up the tack room.

-Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.

-Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair all over them.

-You have to go to your friend's wedding in riding clothes because you took too long at the barn.

-Only horsepeople would spend hundreds of dollors on a show for a 95 cent ribben (also guilty)

Alpha mare?

Unstable

Top 10 Spooky Things

A horse's point of view

10. Blowing Paper:

"At any moment it could whip up into our faces, covering our noses. We could suffocate. And don't try to tell us you'd do CPR."


9. Barking Dogs:

"What? You've never read Steven King's CUJO?"


8. Puddles of Water:

"Quicksand."


7. Trash Cans:

"They've been known to swallow horses and transport them into another dimension."


6. Babies and Li'l Kids:

"Long lost tribe of horse-eating pygmies."


5. Plaid Horse Blankets:

"Hey, when was the last time you wore plaid? It adds 100 lbs."


4. Ropes and Hoses on the Ground:

"Dreaded North American Trail Snakes."


3. Ponies:

"Cute, cleaver, hardy. They want to take over the world."


2. Windy Days:

"Two Words: impending tornado."


1. Carts and Wagons:

"Look. You put a human on our backs, we can always buck them off. But hitching a horse to a wheeled object? It's just not right."